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Friday, September 02, 2005


A loony old lady in South Africa invented an anti-rape female condom to address the growing cases of sexual assault in her country.

Scientifically speaking, you take the fem-jimmy hat and shove it up your pussy, then just wait around to get raped. When you finally do, barbed spikes hook onto your assailant's dick. Once they're hooked in, they can only be surgically removed at a hospital, thus making it easier to identify rapists.

Apparently the condom is supposed to stun the attacker (for what, all of a second??) thus giving the female (or possibly male, right?) time to escape, somehow.

OK, a couple things about this don't make any sense to me:

1) Exactly how loose are women's pussys that they can just shove this thing up there and wear it all the damn time just waiting for a dick to fly up there, with enough space to go directly in the middle of the condom, thereby getting "hooked" by the barbs? That's a blown-out bitch!!

2) How is this condom supposed to really help women getting raped? Seems to me like the guy would just get pissed off and instead of rape, it would turn into homicide.

3) I can just see the number of false cases where some dumb cunt shoves the condom up her dumb cunt and her boyfriend fucks her only to have that thing latch onto his dick, he has to go to the hospital, and now he's on some sexual predator list.

Although, I'd love to be the one behind the CVS counter selling these condoms. Because you know it would only be the ugly chicks buying these things for fear that they'd get raped. Lies. I'd just have to laugh and be like "Gurl, don't worry. Here, have a popsicle."


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