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gothamwhore

Wednesday, September 28, 2005

Please Sir, I Don't Want Anymore!


I keep ripping on Hollywood's lack of creativity as if I were some sort of film critic. However, nothing could be farther from the truth; I'm just a casual movie-goer. But even in that capacity, I'm savvy enough to spot the hackneyed flicks that Hollywood is trying to pass off as blockbuster movies.

Case in point, the new version of Oliver Twist, which according to IMDB is the 19th rendition of the classic Dickens novel. Are you fucking kidding me?? The last Oliver Twist was in 1999 and I don't remember the date when the more famous one came out. But is there really nothing else in the movie pipeline? Aren't there THOUSANDS of screen writers, script writers, MAD LIBS writers out there just DYING to turn their pointless drivel into a film?

I feel like I'm living in a time machine. Everything I see now is a remake of something from the past: Willy Wonka, Bewitched, the list goes on! And the worst thing is that, true to form, this new remake is really nothing different or more stellar than the "original" version. So what's the point?

The sad reality is that my fellow movie-goers just sit back and do nothing in protest. True, movie sales have been down this summer compared to last, but that's still not enough. At the very least, Hollywood should be boring and unamazing us with original scripts with unique plots, not a trite mélange of old storylines and new actors or a "90's version" of an old classic.

Instead, the only "new" films come in the form of dumb-ass comedies like The 40-Year Old Virgin and Wedding Crashers where you need but only an elementary school education to understand their inane slapstick comedy and mutter a chuckle.

Everyone's a moron (including the President) with an elementary school education, you say? Then I must be in the right decade. Fuck, so they didn't invent a time machine.

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