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Tuesday, December 20, 2005

Drag Queens Out And Make 'em Laugh

I'll admit that I know almost nothing about drag queens (men who dress up as women for performance purposes). Not a thing. I don't know who's who or anything like that. I typically don't appreciate the shows because unless they're spitting fire and telling jokes, I just don't get it.

So given that, I was pretty much dragged to a drag queen performance on Sunday. It was Jackie Beat's holiday show, of which I knew nothing about.

Once I got there, the two queens ("queens" now used to refer to middle-aged effeminate men) sitting at the table with us informed me that she basically re-writes the lyrics of songs and sings them. How fun! More importantly, and cautionary, she goes into the audience and basically rips on people. How (scarily) fun! And me in my wonderfully frump-tastic hoodie and track pants (a la Rocky IV) outfit in a room full of judgmental queens ("queens" now used to refer to faggots in general) and one bitchy drag queen. Delightful.

Jackie Beat is fucking HILARIOUS!!!! Seriously. I can barely remember a single lyric of her songs, but I know I was busting a gut laughing the whole fucking time. Since it was a holiday show she sang Christmas songs, for the most part, including classics such as "Jingle Bell Cock" and "Do Some Blow" (aka, "Let It Snow"). Because I'm such a tard, half my mind was wondering how rehearsed her show was. Everything was really on point and choreographed perfectly. I don't know how "spontaneous" her jokes were or if they were rehearsed in advance. But regardless, the whole show was amazing. If I had anything to drink during the show I would have pee'd it onto the floor I was laughing so hard.

So if you ever get a chance to see her, do it! Buy the ticket and go. I have no idea how much the tickets were -- I didn't pay for them, you know how I do -- but whatever it is, it's well worth it.

Check out her website at www.JackieBeatRules.com.


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