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gothamwhore

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

Donald Chump

Donald Trump is apparently suing the author of a book about him called TrumpNation: The Art of Being The Donald and the book's publisher, Warner Books. According to Trump, the book made 'egregiously false and malicious statements' about Trump, Trump's family, personal life and business dealings.

As someone known for his proclivity for hyperbole, I can only assume that Donald Trump is just blowing this out of proportion. I'm sure he's making a huge (pronounced 'yoo-ge') deal out of the whole thing. The book claims that Trump's net worth is somewhere between $150 million and $250 million, whereas The Donald claims it's closer to $2.7 billion. I think he's measuring his fortune in AOL inches -- I mean, dollars.

Of course the humor comes in when you learn the amounts that Trump is seeking for punative damages -- punative or penis-tive damages? Trump is seeking $2.5 billion for compensatory damages (he's over-compensating for something alright!) and $2.5 billion for punative damages from the book's author and publisher.

It seems that -- despite not being worth $2.7 billion from his business dealings -- Donald Trump is determined to be a bona fide billionaire from his litigious dealings. Well, we all gotta make money somehow!

Q: "Mr. Trump, what are you going to do with all that money if you win your frivolous lawsuit?"

A: "I'm going to shampoo my toupee!"

...and America exhales a collective sigh of relief.

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