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Tuesday, June 27, 2006

Ellen, What?

Ellen is the weirdest show. I'm talking about her talk show, not her sitcom, which started out good then got really bad once she came out.

I just caught an episode today (as always, I'm like a year and a half late on all the trends!). It's such a bizarre show! She dances around the whole audience and just does a random stand-up routine in the beginning. Since when does Ellen dance?? And now she's suddenly got these lesbo thighs. Madness.

These daytime talk shows just throw me off. I can't imagine being in middle-America watching this and just laughing along jollily with my bucket of twinkies in hand.

Everything is so scripted, it's almost insulting. She got an 'impromptu' call from Justin Timberlake, as if that 20-second call wasn't scheduled months in advance, just to chat about stoopid shit.

I guess lesbians make good talk show hosts: Ellen, Rosie, (ahem) Martha. When they've got proper lighting, a team of hair and make-up stylists, and a designer wardrobe they can be quite easy on the eyes. But when all of that goes away, you get crazy-ass dyke hair...

Jesus Christ! A scarier sight, I cannot imagine. Hair and make-up, PLEASE!

But I digress. Anyway, Ellen's show is weird, but I pray to GOD it never gets cancelled. Who knows what'll happen to her hair, especially now that she's let her thighs go to shit. She'll look like a wildebeest!

Monday, June 26, 2006

Directions Anyone?

Mapquest be damned. If you live in the city, you don't care about how to get from Point A to Point B by car (that's the taxi's problem), you need to know how to get there by subway... particularly far away places like the TriBeCa or SpaHa.

The solution? Hopstop! Hop on, choose your city (New York, San Francisco, Boston, or DC), type in Point A and Point B, and voila: instant directions!

Try it out. It works with your smartphone, too!

Thursday, June 22, 2006

The Power of PR

Last Tuesday, I went to a party about the history of mannequins at Rootstein in Chelsea. I know absolutely nothing about mannequins, but I can only assume that Rootstein is one of the major producers of mannequins in the world (?). Based on the gallery and all the pictures, it sure seemed like they make all the mannequins out there. But honestly, who cares? They're mannequins!!

I'll tell you who cares -- fashion people. The party was full of people in fashion, in some form or another. In essence, it was full of a bunch of people who I really didn't care to bump into.

However, the power of PR comes into play because MAO PR, one of the main fashion PR firms, threw the party. As a result, it seemed that people just willingly showed up to see a bunch of mannequins. That's amazing.

Ok, so the open bar and hors d'oeuvres didn't hurt, either. But still, the party drew a number of fashiony people -- Robert Verde, Nole Marin, and some others who I can't recall at the moment.

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

The Devil Wears Prada

I just saw a screening of The Devil Wears Prada and I actually liked it. I thought I was going to hate it, and I'd not read the book, but I was pleasantly surprised. Actually, I liked it a lot. Meryl Streep was amazing, natch. I love Anne Hathaway because she's just so adorable.

Once again that boy from Entourage found his way into a movie. I can't stand him -- he should have been relegated to teen movies like Drive Me Crazy. He's like Ryan Seacrest; he's got all the pieces in place, but still there's something completely off thus making him unattractive.

But I digress...

The movie was great. It's full of parties, pretty dresses, pretty girls (not that it matters to me, but it beats ugly girls!), and best of all makes you think about your own job and career aspirations. For some, it will make them thankful that they don't have an insanely demanding boss from Hell. For others, it will make them even more bitter that they have an insanely demanding boss from Hell. And for the insanely demanding bosses from Hell, it'll make them think *My employees are lucky that I'm nothing like her!*

Sunday, June 18, 2006


I found this moderately entertaining...

Friday, June 16, 2006

Wal*Mart Invasion!

Here's a fun little video I found that graphically depicts the spread of Wal*Mart stores throughout the U.S.

For your viewing pleasure (and/or disgust)...

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

Pretty in p.i.n.k.

Coming to a bar or liquor store near you, particularly if you live in NYC, is p.i.n.k. Vodka; the newest ultra-premium vodka. It's infused with enough caffine to take the place of a vodka Red Bull and also contains guarana.

Tagged as the world's perfect party spirit, p.i.n.k has only been on the market for seven weeks and has sponsored a number of parties throughout the city. It's apparently available in most bars and stores throughout New York. No clue if it's available anywhere else yet.

So if you're fortunate enough to have the opportunity to try it, get up on it!

To purchase a bottle (or ten), head to the p.i.n.k. website.

No Tourists Allowed!

Not that it's a laughing matter at all, but it appears that tourists seem to be getting stabbed in our fair city.

It's really not funny considering it happened in Times Square. Honestly, any crime that happens in respectable parts of Manhattan scares me because I feel like New York is such a safe place. The borroughs are another thing, but Manhattan is safe -- at least, that's what I thought.

What with drag queens getting their jaw busted, gays getting bashed, and tourists taking a blade in the stomach, it would seem that Manhattan is no longer as safe as I once thought... or maybe I'm just reading the news for the first time in a while.

Regardless, keep the voilence away from me!

Monday, June 12, 2006

Attack of the Homophobes

So unless you've been living under a rock for the past day or two, you've probably heard that Kevin Aviance was attacked by a group of 5-6 teens shouting anti-gay slurs the other night in the East Village or Lower East Side. Thankfully, the story has been all over the news -- the NY Times, NY Post, CNN, Associated Press, etc.

The teens ranged in age from 16-20, I heard there were 6 in total and 4 have been arrested. I also heard that a friend's friend was gay bashed (literally) with a baseball bat in Astoria, Queens over the weekend and had to go to the hospital. What kind of madness is that?!

Not that I know Kevin Aviance all that well, but we have a number of mutual friends who are equally as shocked and dismayed by the randomness of the attack. I know he's a big queen and all, but he wasn't even in drag when he was attacked!

I'm sorry, but when did Saturday night plans ever include beating the shit out of an innocent person for no apparent reason?? It's not like, "So, Billy, what are your plans for the weekend?" "Aww, shucks, I'm gonna go beat me the shit out of some faggots, and then chew some tobacco." Give me a break. Who has the time to do such insane things?? Well, insane people, I suppose.

In all cases, it's just sad. You would think that in a city like New York, or -- I don't know -- the 21st century, that people would be safe to walk the streets without fear of having a hate crime come knocking on their door.

God help the poor lil' High School bastards who try to gay bash me. They'll leave with their asses sore, limping away with only one testicle left in each of their bodies.