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Tuesday, July 11, 2006

D-Listed Forever

Kathy Griffin ensures her exile to the D-List as she blabs on about how her ex-husband stole $72,000 from her during their marriage.

I used to like Kathy Griffin back in the day, but lately she just seems like a whiney mooch. She's pretty hilarious, but seriously, she needs to stop being lame.

There's not really much else to say about her. Oh, try to find a picture of her without bangs. Her hair line starts in the middle of her head. It's scary. VERY SCARY.


  • who does it better than she? well, you could of course, if you just got all that surgery and became the most annoying friend I ever could have imagined...

    By Blogger mrSKINNY, at 7/11/2006 10:58 AM  

  • When has the whining strategy ever revived anyone’s career? Seriously… if she wants to be famous and respected again she needs to get on the right path.

    First, pick up a mild addiction to children’s cough medicine – brands endorsed by elmo, big bird or any filntstones character are best! Then shoplift obscure things to signal a subtle cry for help – the stranger the better – I’d start with prosthetic limbs and hearing aid batteries. Occasionally get pissfaced on boxed pink zinfandel (Arbor Mist also works) and get belligerent with your neighbors – in the nude is better - with a non-english speaking horse hung midget gigolo is best. Throw in some paranoia and demand that the phone company stop manipulating your menstrual cycle! Once your self-destructive behavior makes the local free press, call your publicist and stage a quick and turbulent downward spiral that uses all your vices simultaneously. Aim for headlines that read “Former comedienne ODs on Robitussin mid shoplifting spree – found nude in RadioShack.” Lay low (pronounced ‘go into exile) for a few months. Use this time to compile a basic structure for a religion based on the deep wisdom embedded in organic food packaging. Start with Kashi and work your way up to obscure vegan products. Call your publicist again and hit the talk show circuit hard. Make it your mission to share your miraculous story with the world. Remember, its not about you! You are coming out to help people deal with their own dark issues. Confess to more than the public was aware – cross-dressing, obsession with German scheisse porn, whetever. Be proud of your bravery - you no longer crave midget dick! You have found salvation in your new faith: a wholesome and balanced approach to life that is strengthened by a reverence for our land: our spaceship earth. Write a book. Enlist help from one of the women on The View. Better yet, find an accomplice. What’s Sisqo doing these days? On second though, forget about him, unless you nix the midget obsession from your initial exploits.

    By Blogger Filthy, at 7/12/2006 1:26 PM  

  • WHOA!! Are you blogging on my blog? :)

    That was fucking hilarious!!!!!

    Am I the only one that was turned on by the idea of a horse hung midget? Yes? Ok... I guess I'm just strange. Damn.

    By Blogger gothamwhore, at 7/12/2006 8:06 PM  

  • Sorry...I tend to rant. Its what I do. Sometimes I can really get carried away. I think David Sedaris is brilliant but Im pissed that he stole my style - hah! wishful thinking.

    Anyway... yes, I apologize for blogging on your blog. Half way into the rant I realized that I could just as easily post this on mine - I may still do that. I just get fired up sometimes its actually funny.

    About the midget thing... how can you not wonder if theyre packin? They look small but what if 'whats down THERE' is normal size? What if its way above normal? - uh oh - I feel another one coming on... I better get back to my blog!

    Thanks for the inspiration!

    By Blogger Filthy, at 7/13/2006 12:11 AM  

  • You should find pics of naked midgets for proof! We'll see if Mini Me is a misnomer.

    By Blogger gothamwhore, at 7/13/2006 12:31 AM  

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