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Friday, August 25, 2006

Types of Friends (Continued)

So I was sitting around and came up with a couple more types of friends that weren't included in the list I posted earlier.

The Unreliable Friend: this is the friend who, no matter how much you think you can count on them, always lets you down. You have to hold their hand every step of the way just to make sure they do what they say they're going to do. I can't stand these friends, yet somehow I've amassed a small army of them. Maybe I should just pit them against each other.

The Plan B Friend: This is the friend who you always put on the back-burner. It's the one you really don't want to hang out with, but you make plans with him or her anyway, just in case your real plans fall through. These friends rarely ever make it to the level of being an actual friend. However, these are typically the most reliable friends, as they rarely have a life of their own.

The Plan A Friend: Is the reason why the Plan B friend exists. This is the friend you really want to hang out and spend quality time with, but for one reason or another, the plans just rarely seem to work out. This could be because it's a friend who's always busy, one whose schedule is just completely variable, or they could be an Unreliable Friend. In any case, you're still friends with them because you like spending time with them, when it actually happens, and basically put off making actual plans until you hear from them.

The Incompetent Friend: This is the friend who, for one reason or another, just can't seem to do anything right. Either they just lack the ability to do anything at all, or they're just a complete fuck up and wreck stuff. Either way, you're always picking up the slack when you're around them. These friends usually don't last very long.

The What-the-Fuck-Happened Friend: This is the friend who you're suddenly no longer friends with. Either one or neither of you know what happened, but suddenly you're just not friends. Puzzling.

The Frenemy: From Sex and the City, these are the friends you have who really are just enemies in disguise. They're either once good friends turned devious, or they're ones who never were that good, but someone you became friends with them, or they're ones you're in competition with. Regardless, these are friends who are kept at arm's length and who you really don't trust at all because they take any bit of information and use it to their own advantage.

The Socially-Inept Friend: This is the friend who seems to have minimal or no social skills whatsoever. You're typically friends with them as the result of some social obligation -- ie, they're a co-worker, a relative, a good friend's friend, a friend's charity case, your own charity case, etc. The bottom line is, you're pretty much stuck with them. These friends seem to lack the ability to grasp social decency and say outlandishly inappropriate things when in mixed company or just make situations awkward.


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