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Monday, September 18, 2006

Friendship Solar System

What with Pluto no longer being a planet and all, I thought it'd be interesting to re-visit the concept of a solar system with respect to the friends you have. Who's still in your solar system and who's a Pluto?

A number of my friends, including me, have been having various issues with their friends or friendships in general. Aren't friends supposed to be the constants that help you through life's dramas? They shouldn't necessarily be the source of drama itself. That shouldn't be how it works. But such is life -- everything is work and effort!!

I'm thinking it's good practice to first have an understanding of the different types of friends there are, this should prompt you to think of the optimal mix of friend types (ie, it's better to have more "best friends" than "wild friends" or "ex-friends"). Then it's interesting to think of the friends you have and map them to the various types that exist.

For instance, I really don't want a lot of Frenemies or Socially-Inept friends. It's good to have a healthy pool of Plan B friends and it's always ideal to have as many Best Friends as possible. But if I look at the people in my life, I actually have a LOT of fucking Frenemies -- well, more than I'd prefer to have. Somehow I've attracted a decent number of Socially-Inept friends, which sucks because they often turn into Plan B friends, but most of them aren't even reliable enough to qualify as Plan B friends. My list of Best Friends is a revolving door of people who come in and out of my life, most of whom don't even live in New York. Ironically, most of my oldest Best Friends are straight. That's probably not so much a function of sexual orientation as it is a function of my not having gay friends a decade ago.

Thankfully I've met a handful of good people recently so I can re-allocate my time toward them and away from less desirable friend types.

So what are the types of friends in your solar system? How many Plutos are there?


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