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Monday, December 11, 2006

Atlantic Shitty

I LOVE Atlantic City!! It's the most trash-tastic place on Earth! It's kind of like living in a fantasy world where everyone is tragic and so are you, kinda, but it's ok because nobody really cares.

There are amazing things to see around every corner. It's the best place ever. All it takes is $20 and 2.5 hours and you're out of the madness of Manhattan and into the madness of a shameless city frought with casino gambling!

I'm sorry, but anywhere with copious all-you-can-eat buffets has to rank high on my list of favorite places. Thirty bucks gets you enough food to sustain a small African nation for a week and a half, or just your fat ass for as long as you can hold out. The only thing it doesn't get you is the quadruple bypass surgery you'll need after you're done grazing from the trans-fat trough.

And if you're not into gambling or eating, then surely you can appreciate shopping. OK, there aren't that many places to shop, but there are a bunch of outlet stores, so if you're feeling like buying lots of shit for super cheap, then that's an option.

Atlantic City is a delightful mix of utterly tragic and magically delicious, all of which sits under an open hole in the Ozone Layer, courtesy of the denizen's overuse of Aqua-Net. Translation: it's really sunny there! Yes, you can wander down rape alleys and throw down with hoodrats on the mean streets of Manhattan (uhhh, more like Brooklyn!), but the city doesn't have the kind of Monopoly-esque charm that only the crap-tacular Miss America capital can provide.


  • Yes, we here in South Jersey are very proud of our City by the Sea! You know, back in the 70s, there was a movement to split the state into two (North and South) with AC as South Jersey's state capital. The mind boggles, huh?

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 12/12/2006 11:14 PM  

  • That would be awesome!!! The epitome of tacky. Then all the little kids in elementary school would have to learn about Atlantic City b/c it's a state capital. Hilarious!

    By Blogger gothamwhore, at 12/13/2006 12:25 PM  

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