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Wednesday, December 20, 2006

A New Twist...

Someone emailed this to me. I thought it was funny.

Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?

DR. PHIL : The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize
he must first deal with the problem on "THIS" side of the road before it
goes after the problem on the "OTHER SIDE" of the road. What we need to
is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his
problems before adding "NEW" problems.

OPRAH: Well I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is
he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken
from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to
this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not
his life like the rest of the chickens.

GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road.
just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or
positioned along the Axis
of Evil. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no
middle ground here.

DONALD RUMSFELD: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the
satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.

ANDERSON COOPER/CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but
have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now
against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the
chicken's intentions. I am for it now, and will remain against it.

PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of hardworking Americans

MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was
going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs
the price dropped to a certain level.

DR SEUSS : Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad?
the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain. Alone.

JERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the
truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the "other side."
That's why they call it the "other side". Yes, my friends, that chicken
gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we
all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media
whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the other side." That
chicken should not be free to cross the road. It's as plain and simple

GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road.
told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be
listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming
of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to
its life long dream of crossing the road.

JOHN LENNON : Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads
together -
in peace.

ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2006, which will not only cross
roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance
check book. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken. The
is much more stable and will never crack....reboot.

ALBERT EINSTEIN : Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the
road move beneath the chicken?

BILL CLINTON : I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your
definition of chicken?

AL GORE: I invented the chicken!

COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?


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