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gothamwhore

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

The "Older People" Survey

So I filled out one of those stupid surveys on MySpace and figured I'd post it here, too just to get the most mileage out of my pointless efforts.


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The "Older People" Survey
Body: (Meant to be completed by those ADULTS out of high school)
Tired of all of those surveys made up by high school kids?
'Have you ever kissed someone?'
'Missed someone?'
'Told someone you loved them?'
'Drank alcohol?'
Here are some questions for the people who are a little more mature... Okay, okay... OLD FOLKS like us......



1. What bill do you hate paying the most?
Rent


2. Where's the best place to eat a romantic dinner?
Off a cute boy’s chest. Wait…. umm, at a nice quiet restaurant.


3. Last time you puked from drinking?
Never. That’s tacky. I’m a classy drunk.


4. When is the last time you got drunk and danced on a bar?
Hello… “classy drunk”. Thanks.


5. Name of your first grade teacher?
No clue. Mrs. something…


6. What do you really want to be doing right now?
I'm gonna have to plead the fifth on this one...


7. What did you want to be when you were growing up?
Rich


8. How many colleges did you attend?
two? within the same university


9. Why did you wear the shirt that you have on right now?
who says i'm wearing a shirt now?? But when in doubt, the answer is always "laziness"


10. GAS PRICES!
... are causing cab fares to go up. NOT cute.


11. If you could move anywhere and take someone with you?
I don't really get the question... I could move anywhere... and if there were someone I'd want to take with me, then I'd do it... with a little help from my friend Chloroform.


12. First thought when the alarm went off this morning?
"Fuuuuuuuck!!!!!"


13. Last thought before going to sleep last night?
"Fuuuuuuuck!!!!!"


14. Favorite style of underwear?
Sexy-style!


15. Favorite style of underwear for the person with you?
Doesn't really matter. It's kinda hot no matter what.


16. What errand/chore do you despise?
Telling the maid what to clean.


17. If you didn't have to work, would you volunteer at an art gallery?
No, but I'd volunteer somewhere else


18. Get up early or sleep in?
Sleep in


19. What is your favorite cartoon character?
Homer!


20. Favorite NON sexual thing to do at night with a girl/guy?
Make out. Apparently it can be non-sexual...


21. A secret that you wouldn't mind everyone knowing?
"One time, at band camp... I was at motherfuckin'-band-camp!!!" lies.


22. When did you first start feeling old?
When I went to Heaven and felt like I was chaperoning a middle-school dance.


23. Favorite 80's movie?
No clue. Ferris Bueller's Day Off??


24. Your favorite lunch meat?
Does anyone eat pimento loaf?? Seriously, who buys that?? I NEEED to know! Cuz Oscar Mayer keeps sellin' it, so someone's buying it!


25. What do you get every time you go into Costco?
Stomach cramps.


26. Beach or lake?
Beach. I don't like stagnant water. It's for mosquito larvae


27. Do you think marriage is an outdated ritual that was invented by people who died at the age of 20?
Ummm... whoa there, Hippie. I think marriage is a nice way for me to score a diamond ring and get a tax break. Unfortunately I have to go to Jersey to get it done. OH, and I gotta find a man to do it with. Cart, then horse.


28. Who do you stalk on MySpace?
How does one "stalk" someone on MySpace?? Hide behind the bulletin board and wait for them to come online??


29. Favorite guilty pleasure?
Foie gras? Rabbit fur?


30. Favorite movie you wouldn't want anyone to find out about?
Now if I told you, then everyone would know.


31. What's your drink?
Orange juice. Breakfast of champions!


32. Cowboys or Indians?
Gay Cowboys -- that's right, Randy!! :)


33. Cops or Robbers?
Cops have donuts and robbers have cash. I'd say robbers.


38. Who from high school would you like to run into?
Meh, nobody.


39. What radio station is your car radio tuned to right now?
I don't have a car, hence no radio.


42. Norm or Cliff?
Huh?


43. The Cosby Show or the Simpson’s?
Simpson’s


44. Worst relationship mistake that you wish you could take back?
If I truly answered this question my fingers would cramp up from typing so damn much. I tend to do hateful shit when I get angry :(


45. Do you like the person who sits directly across from you at work?
I face a wall. So, sure. Walls don't sass back.


46. If you could get away with it, who would you kill?
I've got some people in mind...


47. What famous person would you like to have dinner with?
I wouldn't mind a "romantic" dinner on Wentworth Miller's chest.


48. What famous person would you like to sleep with?
You'd think the obvious answer would be Wentworth Miller, but I'm going to mix it up and go with Hayden Christensen


49. Have you ever had to use a fire extinguisher for its intended purpose?
Nope, just for it's many unintended purposes... ??


50. Last book you read for real?
"Blink" by Malcolm Gladwell ... yes, I'm late, I know.


51. Do you have a teddy bear?
YES!!! His name is Bear. At least, I think it is. He's so soft and adorable. Awwwww, Bear.


52. Strangest place you have ever brushed your teeth?
Is this where I say "some trick's apartment"? Because I don't find that to be strange at all. I find it to be good oral... hygiene.


53. Somewhere in California you've never been and would like to go?
Napa?


54. Number of texts in a day?
this question is stupid.


55. At this point in your life would you rather start a new career or a new relationship?
I'll start whichever won't fail.


56. Do you go to church?
nope.


57. Pencil or pen?
pen


58. bueller??? bueller??? bueller? has anyone seen Ferris??
Yeah, I saw him about 25 questions ago when I said it was my favorite 80s movie. This question sucks.


60. What do you want to achieve in life?
To be happy with someone who's happy with me (I stole Anson's answer!)


61. How old are you?
27 ... christ...

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