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Tuesday, January 30, 2007

A Bidet for Clay After Today

Clay Aiken (aka, Gayken) is in desperate need of a good publicist. Like, the old-school Hollywood Studio kind. The kind that pretty much run your life and clean up all the shit you product. A PR bidet.

Perez Hilton cleverly reported on Gayken's homo-adventures on Manhunt, including webcam pictures of the singer. He looks horrid. After he's done finding a publicist, he should really get a new stylist. God help the poor soul who would hook up with Gayken. Ick. He's probably the worst lay ever!

Isn't it the job of the old-school publicist to find Gayken the following?
  1. A suitable beard (a la Katie Holmes)
  2. A reliable fuck buddy (so he doesn't have to troll through Manhunt to find cock -- yeah, cuz we all know he's most likely a bottom)
  3. A pile of cash to pay off people like Perez so they don't publish this shit about him when Gayken fucks up and logs onto Manhunt
  4. A swiffer to clean up the rest of the PR shit that's splattering all over the blogsphere
But alas, he must have spent all his American Idol money on... ummm... prostitutes, when he should have spent it on a gay publicist.

OR -- here's a radical idea -- maybe the Bitch should just come out of the closet! Stop pretending it's a glory hole and show your damn face! Own it!! The gays will accept you with open arms (unfortunately). I mean, look at what they did for that waste of human space Jim McGreevy. He shat on us the whole time he was in the Governor's mansion and GLAAD gladly welcomed him. But that's another issue for another rant -- I mean, posting.


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