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Tuesday, January 23, 2007

"Rockstar" Ramblings

OK, so this is the longest thing ever, but I thought it was totally endearing for some reason. It's a posting from this guy Forrest, who's the lead singer (me thinks?) of hellogoodbye. It's a bit A.D.D. and is a pathway of tangents, but it's cute. He's apparently straight. Go figure.

I wish I had straight friends like him. Well, I wish I had friends in general. Not to discount any of you, but you've got to up the wit factor to compete with him.

Anyway, have a read...

we're on virgin atlantic flight 8 to london right now. i just watched superman returns.

see? thats me watching it. it was pretty good. pretty much what i signed up for when i selected "superman returns" from the on demand film menu. but i have to address the "baxter" feenom. thats feenom for phenomenon. but i chose to say it cool and slang, cause girls like that, plus i don't confidently know how to spell phenomenon off the top of my head. also it should be noted that when i clarified my use of feenom by writing the longhand "phenomenon" i spelt it wrong the first try then i learned my laptop would fix it for me. cause i just got a new one. an apple. im selling my pc prolly on ebay (prolly: common shorthand for probably, which sounds stuffy and uptight, yeah? too stuffy and uptight for a kewl, (cool) casual, (theres a great verbal short for casual but i can't figure out how to type cashjjj. see?) rock and roll band member's blog thing. first, about my new laptop. im not on either team about macs or pcs. i like both. but lemme (let me) throw up two points on my recliner of rage.

- the ports on a macbook should obviously be on the right.
- when you close the lid, it shouldn't go to sleep

when you plug a mouse in, you don't wanna have that shit wrappin' around to bfe. pretty much everything is more convenient plugged in to the right. plus when im processing something on my computer that takes a while, i wanna close my lid and let it go while i play with a puppy. if they fixed those two things the macbook would be totes perf (totally perfect). so yeah. anyways. as soon as i discover more that i find inappropriate i will keep you updated. TO THE MINUTE. don't even worry. it'll be my top priority. i was talking about the baxter though. its a movie by michael showalter. but im talking the idea. not the film. the CONCEPT. i know, its very abstract. (i was in G.A.T.E.). its the guy who doesn't get the girl. there's the girl, and the guy she's with, and the guy she should be with. she is swept away but the perfect charming looker. and the guy she was with (who usually wears alot of sweaters, and is charmingly bumbling) is an awkward third wheel. luckily, superman didn't have that ending cause that shit makes me uncomfortable and feeling like my girlfriend is having a big emotional plot turning kiss with mr right somewhere while i make sure my collar is popping out of my sweater properly. there were a few scary moments in superman, where lois goes against her better judgement. i have a baxteraphobia. when there's onscreen infidelity my heartbeat quickens, i try to think about mathematics and i shit my pants. i LITERALLY shit my pants. i don't ACTUALLY shit my pants. but i LITERALLY shit my pants. obviously i'm a little insecure. i mean my bowels. they're looooose. anyways, i bet michael showalter doesn't even feel that strongly about the baxter sitch (situation) and he made a whole movie about it.

whoa. update. in the movie uhh. i don't remember what im watching. crank. in the movie crank the guy just raped his girlfriend in public and people just watched. that made me nervous too. i had to fast forward it. chris was saying he had to fast forward alot of scenes in the stella shorts (im not THAT obsessed with stella, i sound crazed though). but i can tooootally take that stuff, doesn't make me nervous at all. its comedy. its absurd.

about chris. the guy gets on a plane saying hes gonna rage all flight. he always talks big like he is gonna throw a kegger with the stewardesses and go wild on inflight wine. then he rolls in and before the plane leaves the ground he looks like this...

he even switched seats from the isle to the window with me, so i knew he wasn't raging. if he was gonna rage, he'd wanna be in the isle so he could ask for a "canada dry, but not too dry, if you know what i mean." and slap the flight attendants butts and have room to rave dance with his personal light flashing and do lines off the drink cart with a tea straw. but he's by the window. so he can rest his head against the side and wear his 12.95 neck pillow and ergonomic eyemask. what a dick.

love, forrest and chris (it should be noted that chris contributed nothing to this magnificent piece cuz his ass wuz asleeeeep)


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