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gothamwhore

Sunday, February 11, 2007

Fashion Week: Live it, Learn it

Well, Fashion Week is officially over. So here's a list of practical lessons learned from the week's events:
  1. Always bring your invite - Forget having your name on the list. You need tangible evidence that you're supposed to be there and waiting for some dumb bitch with a list to look up your name might eat into precious "sit and look pretty" time.
  2. Steal shit from the giftbags - Once you've taken your seat, take everything out of the gift bag and put it in your purse, leaving the giftbag behind. Then take more stuff from other giftbags around you, just in case. The afterparty tickets for Heatherette were these quirky 3D glasses. Since some of our friends couldn't get into the show, but wanted to go to the afterparty, we had to somehow get more glasses... so we thefted them.
  3. Don't bring your kid to the Tents - If you think a child is this season's newest "must have" accessory, then you shouldn't be in Fashion. Leave the kids at home or tie them to the curb and pick them up when the show's over.
  4. If you're going to steal someone's seat, do it in the 4th row - First row is for people who need to be seen, second row is for people actually there to get work done (eg, editors, buyers, stylists, etc.), third row is the 'overflow' row in case more editors and the like arrive. The 4th row is close enough to have a good view and far enough back that nobody's going to bother bumping you. Make sure you take all the shit out of the giftbag!
  5. When sitting front row, try not get caught laughing at the designer's clothes - In this particular instance, this boy shouldn't have even been in the front row (especially based on the breakdown I provided in point #4), since he clearly falls into the category outlined in point #7.
  6. Social ties are the week's "must wear" item - You can have all the invites and seat assignments in the world, but if you don't know anyone, you could still be relegated to "standing room only" or barred from the Tents all together. Alternatively, if you know the right people, you may not even need an invite and you'll be immediately whisked away past the crowds and into a nice comfy seat.
  7. Everyone's a poseur - There are lots of people out there pretending to be 'someone' when they're not, trying to capitalize on Fashion Week: a "Fashion Director" named Carl(os) from the (apparently) deceased Stitch Magazine, a wannabe named EricAndrew who steals email addresses then spams out emails to complete strangers with pictures of himself with 'celebrities' during Fashion Week, and a "tall blond model wearing a black Armani blazer from this season's collection, white Gucci pants, and Prada snake skin shoes" named Marco who (so far) seems to be as real as Fantasy Island (and just as tacky).
And there you have it. Feel free to add any lessons of your own. I'm sure I can come up with more, but as you know I'm pretty lazy. And this pretty much encompasses most of it.

5 Comments:

  • I think next year you should pass this out in pamphlet form to everyone waiting outside the shows. As a public service.

    By Blogger Frank, at 2/12/2007 12:27 AM  

  • Yeah, I'm sure fashiony people will appreciate receiving pamphlets fraught with cuntiness. It's just like any other magazine, but quicker to read :)

    By Blogger gothamwhore, at 2/12/2007 1:53 AM  

  • Leave your cheap digi cam at home... you look like a lame ass tourist! If you are anyone, you have access to all the press photos from the show anyway.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 2/13/2007 10:40 AM  

  • I hate the boys and girls who feel the need to out do the models by wearing outlandish shit - maybe hoping that a designer puts them in their show! You are not a spectacle - you are there to witness one!

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 2/13/2007 10:43 AM  

  • Anonymous, I think anyone with an internet connection has access to the press photos :)

    But sometimes the 'press photos' aren't as good as ones you can take yourself because they don't take zoom-ins of hot boys in assless pants.

    By Blogger gothamwhore, at 2/13/2007 12:26 PM  

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