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Saturday, April 28, 2007

Shake What Ya Mama Gave Ya

I don't know what to think of this video. It's pretty funny, though. I can't handle it.

I think the best part is the group dance with the three of him. Nice.

Friday, April 20, 2007

Happy 4/20!

For your pot-smoking enjoyment, we present...

Jiggle Those Titties!
Well, they're more like pecs than titties, but still. He's kinda hot. The belly button ring is pretty faggy, but watevs.

Wednesday, April 18, 2007

Holy Embarassing, Batman!

Sucks that this kid's cute because he can't carry a tune worth shit and that makes him pretty unattractive. Can you say, "Hot Mess!"

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

Poncho Party

I must be the most hyper anal person I know because apparently it's not normal to plan your birthday party two months in advance. HOWEVER, in my defense, I have nothing better to do with my time at the moment and the stuff that I'm planning for my birthday takes a lot of lead time.

But I'm happy as a clam that they sell the hideous Ugly Betty Guadalajara poncho online, which is an integral part of my costume-slash-party theme.


Actually, I do have some competition for my birthday party. My friend's birthday is a week before mine and he's decided to do a big party also. Originally, he was supposed to have a small party, then we'd do a joint one for Gay Dayz at Disney World, then we were going to do mine. But the bitch changed his mind! So now he's gonna have a crazy big party and I have to at least match, if not out do, what he's doing. Pressure's on!! Though, his party concept doesn't require a panel of celebrity judges and two dance performances, so I'm sure mine will be better. Haha!

Sunday, April 15, 2007

Top What?

Bravo keeps making shows that highlight gay jobs -- fashion design, interior decorating, cooking, gym trainers, and now hair stylists. It's the same format for each show. At what point will people get tired of this?

And what's next?? Why stop there?? What about the other gay industries?? Top Escort, Top PornStar, Top Bartender, Top Drag Queen, and of course, Top Actor-slash-Waiter. The Gay Industry possibilities are endless! I basically just provided Bravo with their programming pipeline for the next 6 seasons.

The newest "Top Fest" (that sounds hot!) on Bravo is Shear Genius. I don't understand this show. Who wants to watch a show about cutting hair?? It's not like I can just go out and start cutting peoples' hair, and it's not like I can just up and change my hair style as a result of watching the show, so what's the deal? Maybe they'll at least include some sort of hair product education component to the show. That might help. But other than that, I'm completely uninterested.

I think this show's gonna bomb after the first couple of episodes. At least Project Runway teaches you about clothing and inspires your sense of style. Top Chef gives you new recipe ideas. And Top Design gives you a reason to laugh at every cheesy thing that comes out of Jonathan Adler's mouth. But Shear Genius? I don't know. I guess we'll have to wait and see. Personally, I'd be more interested in watching "Top Escort". I'm sure it'd be "action packed".

Thursday, April 12, 2007

Happy Birthday, Willi !!

Today is Willi Ninja's birthday. It seems like a natural time to reflect and contemplate his life. I'm not really in the mood for that right now. It's too deep. But what I am reflecting on is the fact that I gave him a bag full of stuff for his birthday last year when we threw a surprise party at Happy Valley and someone up and stole all of his presents!! Shaaaady!! Oh well, it's the thought that counts, right? Or something....

Sunday, April 08, 2007

To the Left; to the Left

My friend sent me this video. It's the cutest thing ever! His hips just keep swinging!! Strut, Boy. Strut!

I almost died laughing when he kicked the chair away! This kid reminds me of the nephew on Ugly Betty. SO adorable!!!

Keep the Monkeys Away from my Hands!

I have NO idea where this "My Hands Are Bananas" video came from, but someone showed it to me. It's been viewed over 2 million times. What the fuck?!

Can someone please explain this to me? I guess it's got some insanely quotable lyrics, like "beware the milky pirate", but still... it's pretty fuckin' awful and awfully fuckin' retarded.

Saturday, April 07, 2007

"Who's your friend? He's cute"

I have to say, the most annoying question I'm constantly asked is "Who's your friend? He's cute." It's usually followed up with "Introduce me" (note, it's not phrased as a question, it's phrased as a command). The derivation of the former question is the statement "You have cute friends. Introduce me."

In the past month, at least four people have asked me that question or muttered that statement. Enough is enough. I know everyone thinks the best way to meet people is through friends, but they need to not bug me about it.

So lemme break it down for ya. My disdain for that question / statement emerges from two different perspectives.

First of all, I personally think it's a tacky thing to say or ask. As it's rarely meant as a compliment (either to me or to my friends), it's really just a question coming from a place of self-interest and selfishness. That doesn't sit well with me.

Secondly, it also subtly implies that in addition to not being as attractive as my friends, I'm also potentially being used as a vehicle for this person to meet these "attractive" friends of mine. Since I'm not earning a fee for my role as "matchmaker", then I don't really think I'm in the "matchmaking" business and hence I don't feel the need to facilitate a relationship between two people who I apparently consider my friends.

The flip side to this whole situation is that it might not be that bad if these people would offer up some sort of incentive on their end. Why not try to introduce me to one of their cute friends? That is, of course, assuming that they even have cute friends. In a number of these instances, they really don't have many cute friends, to which I say -- you play with your friends and I'll play with mine and the two of us can hang out, but let's keep it separated.

One friend of mine even went as far as to ask me to post a MySpace bulletin announcing his newly single status, in hopes that my friends would contact him. Ummm... hell to the motherfuckin' NO!

I think one of the main reasons it rubs me the wrong way is because it's just yet another manifestation of faggoty behavior where everyone's just a taker. They're all just focusing on what they want and their needs without any understanding of how other people will react to their behavior. Where are all the givers? Damn these cities full of bottoms! :)

So the key takeaway is that if you're going to go down the route of making blanket statements like "your friends are cute. introduce me", then you should immediately follow up that request with an offer that the other person might find equally as compelling. If not, then you're just being a social leech, and nobody likes that.

Friday, April 06, 2007

Diamond Daddy

The newest trend -- designer diamonds made from your dead daddy. Some chick in Germany wants to turn her dead father's ashes into a diamond. Sounds kinda cool, if you take out the creepy dead parent part.

Tuesday, April 03, 2007

"People Who Annoy You"

South Park kills me. Can you guess what the answer is? I got it right.

"Oddly Enough"

I love Reuter's Oddly Enough section. It always highlights the most random and entertaining things.

Today when I read an article there, all I could think of was, "Oh no they didn't!!" Why? Because this was the title:

"Don't make me axe you again"

Ghetto-fab, Reuters. Ghetto-fab.

Sunday, April 01, 2007


If McDonald's doesn't want people to call shitty jobs a McJob, then maybe they should make their McJobs less McJob-like. Then maybe people will stop calling it that.

Here's a hint to get you started, McDonald's: Hire fewer dumb-asses. I know you're not allowed to discriminate, but if the applicant has swarovski crystals on her press-on nails, then she's probably not the best McGal for the McJob because all she's gonna do is yap to her McFriends about pointless shit instead of handing me my McNuggets.