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Saturday, April 07, 2007

"Who's your friend? He's cute"

I have to say, the most annoying question I'm constantly asked is "Who's your friend? He's cute." It's usually followed up with "Introduce me" (note, it's not phrased as a question, it's phrased as a command). The derivation of the former question is the statement "You have cute friends. Introduce me."

In the past month, at least four people have asked me that question or muttered that statement. Enough is enough. I know everyone thinks the best way to meet people is through friends, but they need to not bug me about it.

So lemme break it down for ya. My disdain for that question / statement emerges from two different perspectives.

First of all, I personally think it's a tacky thing to say or ask. As it's rarely meant as a compliment (either to me or to my friends), it's really just a question coming from a place of self-interest and selfishness. That doesn't sit well with me.

Secondly, it also subtly implies that in addition to not being as attractive as my friends, I'm also potentially being used as a vehicle for this person to meet these "attractive" friends of mine. Since I'm not earning a fee for my role as "matchmaker", then I don't really think I'm in the "matchmaking" business and hence I don't feel the need to facilitate a relationship between two people who I apparently consider my friends.

The flip side to this whole situation is that it might not be that bad if these people would offer up some sort of incentive on their end. Why not try to introduce me to one of their cute friends? That is, of course, assuming that they even have cute friends. In a number of these instances, they really don't have many cute friends, to which I say -- you play with your friends and I'll play with mine and the two of us can hang out, but let's keep it separated.

One friend of mine even went as far as to ask me to post a MySpace bulletin announcing his newly single status, in hopes that my friends would contact him. Ummm... hell to the motherfuckin' NO!

I think one of the main reasons it rubs me the wrong way is because it's just yet another manifestation of faggoty behavior where everyone's just a taker. They're all just focusing on what they want and their needs without any understanding of how other people will react to their behavior. Where are all the givers? Damn these cities full of bottoms! :)

So the key takeaway is that if you're going to go down the route of making blanket statements like "your friends are cute. introduce me", then you should immediately follow up that request with an offer that the other person might find equally as compelling. If not, then you're just being a social leech, and nobody likes that.


  • Better etiquette would be to PICK a cute friend and ask, "Hey, Gothamwhore, I really think Friend X is cute. Would you mind introducing me? I'm feeling bashful." Much better!

    By Blogger Frank, at 4/08/2007 12:50 AM  

  • Yeah, at least it's more focused, rather than just email blasting all of my friends, casting the widest net possible in hopes of catching at least one fish. OR they could just trot on down to the McHotties factory and get their own cute friend. That's where I get mine from. I usually go on "Two-for Tuesdays", though.

    By Blogger gothamwhore, at 4/08/2007 1:33 AM  

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