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Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Bottoms In Disguise

I love how faggots are such tricky tricks. Everyone's an actor. There seems to be a new trend in online hooking -- pretending you're a top (or maybe vice versa?). I guess it's some sort of fantasy thing, but to me it's just false advertising.

And since of course I'm a heartless bitch, here's an example of what I'm talking about:

Tricky trick, huh?

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

The Magic of Television

Back to Gossip Girl. I forgot to mention a few things in my previous post.

The first thing that I find amusing on the show is that everyone lives on the Upper East Side except for Dan and his family, who live in a loft in Williamsburg. Ok, I think it's funny that they keep referring to it as a "loft", probably to emphasize the "hip-ness" of their location or whatever. But more importantly, I love how the characters on the show treat it like it's just around the corner.

Serena's always popping in like it's down the block. Her mom is randomly coming over to flirt with Dan's dad. Meanwhile, everytime I watch the show and one of them mentions coming over, I cringe. It's a LEAST a good hour on the subway and probably at least a half hour car ride. I've never taken a car to Williamsburg, but I assume it's not all that quick. I live 5 stops from Williamsburg and I don't treat it like it's around the corner. It's a fuckin TREK!

The other thing I noticed is that the only two minorities on the whole damn show are those two bitches that follow Blair around wherever she goes. And they barely have names! Plus, they're always wearing matching outfits as if to imply that anyone who's not white is just all the same anyway. Hopefully it's done on purpose as some sort of social commentary rather than being some sort of horrible KKK'ish statement. I"m going to stay hopeful and believe in the former. But I do think it's fucked up that the only non-white kids on the show essential have no personality and are just plain vanilla.

And my final thought -- I realize Chuck is trying to cultivate a "look" with that stupid scarf of his, but he needs to put it away, because it's not cute. It's actually quite ugly and dowdy. It looks like he's wearing a quilted comforter. And while they're busy switchin' it up for him, he needs a new cell phone. The Motorola Q is so OVER. Plus, it's a horrible phone. Couldn't the show have gotten Nokia or Sony Ericsson to toss them a phone instead? Come on!! At least he doesn't have a sidekick ... although he is supposed to be in high school :)

To the Point

I somehow seem to attract and surround myself with these faggots who enjoy talking in circles with lots of innuendo, but no real follow up. It's one of the most frustrating things to me because there's nothing worse than simply wasting time.

I'm all for witty banter and coy remarks, but after the third iteration it's time to either put up or shut up. My friend refers to it as a tango, but after 10 minutes of dancing, it's just a drag.

What's with these people who talk in circles with no point at all? Or the ones who talk in analogies, but then when you call them out on the analogy they claim ignorance to what the analogy or innuendo was really about. It's the same concept as "all talk, no action".

These people are, simply put, time wasters. And in my opinion, someone should be avoided once they've been identified as such.

Sunday, January 13, 2008

xoxo, Gossip Girl

Ok, I have to admit it; I'm addicted to Gossip Girl. Yes, I'm half a year behind, but that's just how I am. I like to stay behind the trends. Why be a leader when it's so much less effort to follow.

At first I thought Gossip Girl was just a horrible depiction of what non-New Yorkers think Upper East Side society is like. I still think that, but like any soap opera, I've learned to love it and now I'm totally sucked in!

The funny thing is that Blaire (sorry if I spell any names wrong -- I'm addicted, not obsessed!) is made out to be the bad guy when really it's the main character, Serena, who slept with her best friend's (Blaire) boyfriend. So if anything, Blaire has a right to be mad at Serena. Lord knows I'd be seething with anger.

Ok, let's call it for what it is -- I like the show because there are a bunch of cute boys running around. There, I admitted it. The girls add some interesting drama, but I'm really in it for the boys.

But now I find myself addicted to this piece of trash, wondering if there's a 12-step program for people like me. Maybe such a program would simply involve growing up and getting a life.

For now, I'm enjoying it. It's filling that empty void in my life. The one that exists between 9 and 10pm on whatever day the show comes on. Ahhh television!

Friday, January 11, 2008

Tacky Grape Lights

I saw this commercial a while ago and recently saw it again. If you haven't seen or heard of these things, consider yourself fortunate. If you own them, email me so I know to never talk to you again.

They're "romantical" and "elegant" -- they're Napa Grape Lights!

They're grapes... that light up... and twinkle! Can you think of anything more gauche and tacky?? Wouldn't you just die if you were at someone's place and they had those things sitting on the table? I'd be like "uhhh, something's come up and I have to go."